When Does Love Become Codependency?

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned from life, and counseling, it’s that there is no such thing as perfection. We all veer in and out of our optimal state of being in regards to all aspects of our lives at some time or another, whether it be diet, career motivation, attention to self-care etc.

couple-1531266One particularly tricky area is love, however. It can be so difficult to sense when our devotion to another person has begun to shift into an unhealthy, and consequently unfulfilling, dynamic.

In counseling we often use distress as a determining factor. Do you find yourself experiencing feelings of discomfort and resentment in your relationship? If so, then this may be a red flag that there is a need to set some healthy boundaries. Yet, this is not something that we’re generally taught how to do.

couple-love-1240185-1279x852Recognizing our own tendency to give too much – and learning how to honor ourselves by responding differently, can shift our relationships in a pleasing and powerful way. Therapy can provide you with the self-awareness, tools and techniques you need to break free from unfulfilling relationship dynamics.

And incidentally, it’s not just women who can find themselves in co-dependency situations – men are just as vulnerable. In fact, check out this insightful article by a male paramedic and his own personal experience with codependency and his life lessons learned.

If you feel that your relationships may be negatively affected by codependency, give us a call today.

Marci Wise, M.A., RMHCI is a counselor seeing both individuals and couples in the Fort Myers/Naples Florida areas. For more information on her services, visit marciwise.com or call 941-202-3350.

 

Take Time to Smell the Roses, Literally!

“Nothing is more memorable than a smell. One scent can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside a lake in the mountains; another, a moonlit beach; a third, a family dinner of pot roast and sweet potatoes during a myrtle-mad August in a Midwestern town. Smells detonate softly in our memory like poignant land mines hidden under the weedy mass of years. Hit a tripwire of smell and memories explode all at once. A complex vision leaps out of the undergrowth.”
–  Diane Ackerman

Okay, so rose oil may not be my particular favorite, but I am really getting into diffusing aromatic oils in order to help promote a healthier lifestyle.

AromatherapyWith a little research you can easily discover how certain oils affect your mood. For example, my go-to self-care activity is a nightly bubble bath infused with lavender oil. I’ve maintained this healthy habit long enough that I’m now conditioned to begin to feel more relaxed with the first whiffs of that serene scent.

At the office, I’ll often choose to diffuse an oil geared especially for the client that’s coming to see me. There are oils that can reduce anxiety, increase your energy, boost your immune system, and even help you sleep better!  At the very least, most people comment how great the office smells – and I’ve found the individuals are pleased that I’ve taken the time and effort to consider them. Many have decided to begin using aromatic oils at home themselves too!

To make the practice even more fun, you can find a variety of attractive diffusers that can add a calming design element to your space, whether it be at home or the office. Most diffusers also contain a multi-colored lighting feature that you can adjust to create the exact mood you desire. Better yet, diffusers are easy to find and relatively inexpensive (under $30).

So if you’re looking for a way to take control of your moods while accentuating your surroundings in a positive way, I suggest you give diffusing aromatic oils a try!

 

Marci Wise, M.A., RMHCI, is a motivational author and mental health counselor accepting both couples and individual clients in the Fort Myers/Naples Florida area. Call 239-689-3086 to schedule an appointment today– or visit marciwise.com for additional resources.

Are You Codependent?

Relationship trouble – we’ve all been there.

But how do you know when there’s a real problem that needs to be addressed?

Codependence

Breaking out of well-worn relationship patterns can be hard – but recognizing the warning signs of co-dependence can be a game changer.

 

Check out my blog: Caring or Codependent? The Fine Line for more information.

Marci Wise, M.A., RMHCI, is a Motivational author and Mental Health Counselor accepting both couples and individual clients in the Fort Myers/Naples Florida area. Call 239-689-3086 to schedule an appointment today– or visit marciwise.com for additional resources.